One of my favorite books is “The Four Agreements” by Don Miguel Ruiz, “a nagual (master) from the Eagle Night lineage” of the Toltec in Southern Mexico. The Toltec were “scientists and artists” who managed the spiritual knowledge and practices of the “ancient ones.”

In “The Four Agreements,” Don Miguel Ruiz describes our life as, among others, a wakeful dream state where we create many, many agreements within ourselves as our basis for relating to God, to ourselves and to other life forms. “We have many agreements that come from fear, deplete our energy, and diminish our self-worth.” On the other hand, in the enlightened state, there are only four BASIC agreements.

On the sleeves of the cover, the four agreements are briefly explained, and I share these with you, with a few very, very brief notes after each agreement:

BE IMPECCABLE WITH YOUR WORD
Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love.

Stay away from gossip, even if you’ll end up being the subject of one. Gossip exposes you to a lot of waste thoughts and waste feelings—and who needs waste?

DON’T TAKE ANYTHING PERSONALLY
Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering.

Anger, sadness, envy, jealousy, stress, and hatred are needless suffering.  Accept criticism gracefully. Again, other people’s criticism is based on their standards, not yours. So take what you want with gratitude, and throw the rest away. Don’t go about screaming murder just because someone said you’re stupid or useless. It’s a complete waste of energy–energy best used for doing more of what you love doing like writing or making music or reading a book.

If there are people who are just difficult to deal with and you are not in the best condition to keep carrying on a “fight,” you may want to stop seeing them for the time being. You are not being unkind….in fact, you are being kind—to yourself.

DON’T MAKE ASSUMPTIONS
Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness, and drama. With just one agreement, you can completely transform your life.

Our reactions to other people are mostly the result of the stories–mostly invented–that we write in our minds. To change your reaction from bad to good, change the script in your head. Only you can do that, no one else.

ALWAYS DO YOUR BEST
Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse, and regret.

Never tell yourself “my best wasn’t good enough.” Your best is your best. Period. Other people’s best may not be congruent to yours, but so what? Your perception of yourself is so much more important than others’ perception of you. Hold your head up high. Rejection simply means a better opportunity is waiting.